We reflect upon mothers and motherhood in May, and in the same way, I think we can reflect upon fathers and fatherhood during the month of June. There is much evidence that fatherhood is in a crisis today: there are many homes in which the father is absent, and many children who have been abandoned by their father, or perhaps have never even met him. In a culture where men are encouraged to persist in adolescence, the value and dignity of fatherhood are at risk. Because of the crisis in fatherhood, we are seeing a crisis in faith, as fathers are in many ways the strongest influence on their children’s ability to become and remain practicing Catholics. I am thankful for my own father in this regard; even though he did not become Catholic until last year (after 44 years of marriage!), he attended Mass with us every Sunday, participated in prayers, and in general had a firm, religious grounding, and he supported my mother, who was deeply committed to teaching us the faith at home. Without my father’s willingness to support her and practice the religion in which he was not yet professed, I would have lacked his example of what it looks like to be a man who has faith. As Pope St. John Paul II wrote, “the father is called upon to ensure the harmonious and united development of all the members of the family: he will perform this task by exercising generous responsibility for the life conceived under the heart of the mother, by a more solicitous commitment to education, a task he shares with his wife, by work which is never a cause of division in the family but promotes its unity and stability, and by means of the witness he gives of an adult Christian life, which effectively introduces the children into the living experience of Christ and the Church” (Familiaris Consortio, 25).
There is a growing trend in the Church, and this is true even locally, of young people choosing to walk away from the faith, and this is in large part because they have never witnessed it as something vital and necessary for life; so few children ever witness the difference grace and fidelity to Christ and His Church make. The father has the preeminent responsibility in the home to ensure his children discover and live by the joy of the Gospel so that they have the necessary foundation upon which God can build them into true Christian disciples. This task cannot be left entirely to the mother, who depends on the father of the children to confirm them in the good and to encourage them in holiness. No matter how faithful the mother is, if the father does not practice the faith, it is almost certain that the children will choose not to practice when they are grown. “The future of humanity passes by way of the family” (FC, 86), and the father is the leader and protector of the family. As we approach Father’s Day, perhaps it would be a good exercise for the fathers in our parishes to make an examination of conscience with the following:
- Satan searches to disrupt the union between man and woman: “Is my unity with my bride in Christ strong, and getting stronger?”
- Satan attacks in a way to create chaos: “Have I established and maintained strong paternal authority, order, and a Catholic culture in my family?”
- Satan tries to instill lukewarmness in our faith lives: “Am I zealously leading my family in the practices of the Catholic Faith.”
- Satan wants us to be ignorant and heretical: “Am I continually evangelizing and catechizing my family?”
- Satan wants to attack the family with sin and suffering: “Am I protecting my family physically, mentally, and spiritually?”
- Satan wants to draw us into materialism: “Do I provide for the necessities of my family while avoiding materialism?”
- Satan wants to lure our children into worldliness: “Do I cultivate my family’s spiritual and natural talents and vocations?”
Examination of Conscience for Fathers, Ascension Press Media (online)
Fatherhood is an immense responsibility, but it is also ordained by God, and He always gives us the graces we need to serve Him in whatever state in life to which He has called us. Through prayer and the grace that comes from the sacramental life, He gives fathers, along with their wives, all the assistance they need to fulfill their vocation of raising saints on earth who are destined for Heaven, thus fulfilling their most noble and sacred task. May God bless you in the week ahead and may Mother Mary lead you more deeply into the Sacred and Merciful Heart of Jesus. I remain,
Affectionately Yours in Christ,
Fr. Hess
